Silence

is not golden, nor preferred, nor anticipated, oh, me - what a fewl.

on my own

that someone who keeps me tethered, centered, focused on the here, is gone away, far and many miles.
it will be weeks until i am able to again hold him.
last time he returned, it felt like we were strangers, and it took days to feel comfortable again, and maybe i never quite felt comfortable again.
so, i am taking time, this time to work on me.
no waiting by the computer-phone to iChat and hang on his every oz. of being.
this time I am trying to focus on others, and, on myself.
i do not know how that will turn out and what that will be like for him or for me.
i don't know if he will even actually miss my hanging on every oz. of his being, or if I will.
we will see, and time will tell.