it'z a vunder-fewl life...

Not suppose to be here, a mistaken "oops" that made it through the mess that is menstruation. Fertilized in a frenzy of legs and feet and now the darker side, creeps, around, circling, hiding in corners, and, of course, under the bed - everyone and everything held suspect of horrible crimes against... mostly mourning. No understanding of this world, placed in it, the point, the randomness of existence, totally lost, no guiding compass, futile focus with no direction to head towards, while wandering aimless and hoping that something will spark anew forgotten, farfetched, faraway dreams, which now seem to be ridiculous home-grown fodder. Wondering if this year will mark an end to the constant struggle it is to stay presently here in this space that is so completely feral and foreign. Necessity bears repeating. Need demands attention. Desperation despairs, and so it is written. Time will tell - all.