like Dug the Dog...

I like people, immediately. I meet them, or even just see them at the store, in a coffee shop, walking down the street, very few actually oog me out, very few scare me. I do find that there are those with whom I would not pursue a friendship, but mostly I am intrigued and almost immediately entranced to some degree.
I fall in love with their little idiosyncracies... what makes them themselves, unique, different from others, be it several moles on a waitresses very pretty face, on the side of her nose, on her cheek and above her lip and on her forehead, or a lisp or stutter, or the crinkles around that man's eyes showing decades of smiling... Too, I can be completely taken with their thought processes, their world views, their approach to life - I can't help it, I just do.
I am always and immediately surprised when I am met with another's dislike... I am always completely shocked and taken aback when I encounter another's meaney demonstrations.
I am always out to "make a friend" and when that is thrown back in my face, I am always surprised. And, then, of course, I am hurt sometimes traumatically, sometimes just for that moment. I do not believe this is sociopathic behavior on my part... but it continues to be unnerving, the need to negate friendship that I experience from others.
Yet, I have few "real" friends, people whom I fully trust to "know", people whom I can turn to in a time of need, or sorrow.
They exist, but I find that now at this point in my life, I'd rather simply occur as light and bright to them. As aspects of joy and fun, so the circle of "support" becomes ever smaller.
What is enlightenment? Knowing that nothing actually matters, save our own experience and opinion of this? And, that the experience and opinions of others can only ultimately matter, effect, affect and make a difference to them?
This life is like a dream and as such I have no idea where to turn next, nor what I shall next do.
How will I continue to feed myself, keep a roof over my head, change the world, care for my loved ones, or even interact with them? I am so very ....