wowzie!

so here it goes... trying to live my life. One day at a time, trying to keep it interesting not just for me, tho' I guess in the end that's who it should be for, but also for those around me, my love, my sons... I read other people's lives and they seem so much "more" than mine. So much more worth it, so much more interesting, so much more satisfying, so much more scary, you name it their's seems so much "MORE". And, yet mine is awesome... I have two amazing sons, they are, you have no idea. Their drama's are nuttin' honey, they are smart, kind, cute, caring, all a mum could want from one son, and I've got two like that - KRIPES! and the love of my life is "a once in a lifetime event" and that suggests [as my youngest noted] that everyone will encounter as I have a being like him, and they won't, because he IS that amazing... and I am not. And, so I have guilt, what'd I do to deserve these amazing beings? "nuttin' honey" absolutely nuttin', and I feel guilty about that. I feel like I "should" be doing something amazing to justify the incredible good fortune which I actually and currently enjoy. Yet, here I sit... noting that, in fact, I simply exist, and fortunately am aware enough, conscious enough to know just exactly how fortunate I actually am...